[Daisies]

This will probably be a stupid question but why do you need a theme? I've read various posts about people having them and I don't see why you need one. I don't think there's been one at any wedding I've been to in the last few years (or maybe I've missed it?!).

We've got a colour scheme (well, nearly!) but nothing like a theme. We're not having an evening reception or sit-down meal or anything like that which might be why I can't see the need for one?

[Miss*pink*]

I think people call there coloue scheme the theme too sometimes x

[MrsKaosTheory]

I don't know why people need themes if I'm honest, we had colours to pull everything together but that was it! xx

[Daisies]

Yeah, I can see the point of having a colour scheme (otherwise it would all look a bit odd?!) but I'm very confused by all the stuff about "cars", or "lovebirds" or "the seaside". Where do you do all that?

[Hayleyanne]

table names is usually where a theme is placed i.e. oak table, maple table - its solves the issue of people getting upset that they are sat at table 5 rather then 2 and is a bit of fun for the couple.
It gives the wedding more personality tbh

[Daisies]

Aha, I think everyone wedding I've been to that had a sit-down meal just numbered the tables! And we're not doing a meal like that anyway so that's one less thing off the to-do list.

[Miss*pink*]

also I think sometimes if theres a theme close to the couples heart e.g musical or they got engaged in new york they encoperate that into there wedding too

[Mrs ThorpeCloud]

We sort of had a theme of mountains because we met through hiking. It happened that our perfect venue was next to the hill where we got engaged- so we went for a walk up it the next day! We also had other details like chocolate pebbles in the favours, church candles decorated with ribbon and lavender and pebbles as table centres, tables named after mountains and the cake... I think a picture says more than words about that...

... http://i187.photobuc...aDermot-213.jpg ... don't think anyone will forget that one in a hurry!

You don't need a theme like this, but it's quite nice to use an idea to bring out personal touches like that. The end result was very us- especially as we had made many of the details (like decorating the cake) and not like a fancy dress theme party (although I did wear my boots with my dress the following day...)

[dancing_princess]

also I think sometimes if theres a theme close to the couples heart e.g musical or they got engaged in new york they encoperate that into there wedding too

You dont have to have a theme...its just fun and the theme we have choses means a lot to us

Our theme will be cinderella as we got engaged in the cinderella castle. To incorrporate the theme we have made cinderella invites, the table centers are wire carriages and shoes decorated in silk roses, naming the tables after the disney parks we enjoyed(ok not cinderella but close and personal to us).

[Daisies]

We are having personal touches - but it's things like choosing our own Bible readings and making sure the liturgy is how we want it to be in the service!!

[sampanther]

Our theme is a tea party only because we love tea and will be serving lots as most of our famillies aren't big booze drinkers.
So that rolled on to collecting tea cups and saucers for each guests table setting, tea cake plates to serve the wedding cake on, plus all the bunting and teapots with flowers in etc. I think you get the idea!!! In turn it brought the colour theme into play with green bridesmaids with a splash of rose pink everywhere (though not too much pink otherwise H2B wouldn't like it!) x

[mrsjamestobe]

A theme to me is just an advanced version of a colour scheme, it's just a different way of tying together the whole look and feel of a wedding. I wasn't planning on having a theme but I've now decided to go with Christmas as we'll be getting married in December. It just means that our decorations will centered around that and we're thinking of having our first dance to a Christmas song (Have Ypurself a Merry Little Christmas).

I don't think that people have to have a theme, it's just makes it easier during the planning process to decide on things that will go together and can also set a mood for the big day

[arcticpenguin]

You don't have to have a theme at all, as others have said, but if you do it makes it quite easy to pull things together. For example table centrepieces - if you're not into flowers like me then you might want something different. We're getting married at Christmas so it will be a Christmassy wedding, but we're not going overboard with it. The table centres are vases with poinsettia heads and gold sprayed pine cones, colours in general are red and gold etc.

[Daisies]

I think I'm still missing the point. It doesn't sound to me like it makes it simpler having a theme, it just gives you more to think about.

Like people are talking about matching their favours and their table centrepieces - but we're not having favours or centrepieces! And I don't really care if everything matches everything else. I'm sure all this just makes getting married more complicated than it needs to be.

[MrsEvers09]

We didnt really have a theme. But most things were red and had a red bow on with a small heart shaped stone. So I suppose that was my theme in the end .

I think when people have a theme its just something to tie everything together and make everything match (which I know I love to do with everything).

It would be a personal decision to have one. I originally wanted cocktails as a theme as my centre pieces were tall and short cocktail glasses with flowers in, but I counld not find anything else to match that was in my budget so that got scraped and i went with bows, its what you want to make of your own day. If you dont have a theme then you dont.

[Daisies]

I think I see it as people giving in to consumerism - I'm sure my parents never had a theme for their wedding and they had a very happy 33 year marriage! ;-) I suspect it's the wedding industry trying to convince people they "need" all this stuff.

All I can remember from the weddings I've been to in the last 10 or so years is my friends' happy smiles, some beautiful services and music, and that's about it. I have no idea if any of them had a theme (if they did I didn't notice it!).

Another thing I've wondered is how on earth you all find time for all of this? Presumably most of you are working? And people keep talking about spending ages looking for things that match etc etc. I just don't know how you fit all that sort of stuff in? I mean, I'm squeezing in some time to get invites done this weekend, but it will be a couple of hours max. How do you all find time for all this shopping around and multiple dress fittings. What have you given up in order to do this?

[pinkprincess2b]

I only work part time at the minute (am looking for a full time job) so i have far too much spare time on my hands but saying that i enjoy crafting anyway and tend to do bits at night in front of the telly with h2b.

[MrsClarkToBe]

You totally don't need to have one. I'm only having an Autumn theme because it will be autumn (ha ha) and it stems from my colour scheme. Totally not compulsory though x

[MrsAngel1972]

We had a colour scheme of turquoise and cream for a beach theme (sea and sand) but then added by accident added stars as one of our first dates was at The Star pub - and the stars were either Turquoise or silver.

So when I was then searching for invites I looked for Star invites etc.... and turquoise ribbon - it just persoanlised things a bit and brought it all together to tie in - a bit like when you are deorating a room you look to tie everything in.

I used to trawl ebay on a night looking for a lot of my things so my nights were taken up with that but then you get to a point when there's nothing left to do and I was lucky my dress fit straight away with no alterations - it helped being a lace up back so I didn't have to go to multiple fittings.

[Daisies]

yeah, you see I just don't have time in the evening or at weekends to trawl place like ebay and stuff!

My fiancé is going to draw a sketch of the window in Lincoln Cathedral above where he proposed, and that image will go on our invites and the order of service, but that's quite quick - he draws it, we scan it, send it to printer!

[♥Highland Wifey♥]

We didn't have a theme as such, just a colour scheme really. Everything was silver/grey/white with sparkle.

You don't need to have one, but quite a lot of people do to make eveything about their day personal to them.

As for time to do things, I just made time. TBH I don't see that planning your wedding should be seen as such a chore and having to give up other things to do it.

xx

[arcticpenguin]

I think I see it as people giving in to consumerism - I'm sure my parents never had a theme for their wedding and they had a very happy 33 year marriage! ;-) I suspect it's the wedding industry trying to convince people they "need" all this stuff.

All I can remember from the weddings I've been to in the last 10 or so years is my friends' happy smiles, some beautiful services and music, and that's about it. I have no idea if any of them had a theme (if they did I didn't notice it!).

Another thing I've wondered is how on earth you all find time for all of this? Presumably most of you are working? And people keep talking about spending ages looking for things that match etc etc. I just don't know how you fit all that sort of stuff in? I mean, I'm squeezing in some time to get invites done this weekend, but it will be a couple of hours max. How do you all find time for all this shopping around and multiple dress fittings. What have you given up in order to do this?

You're starting to sound rather rude and offensive tbh. If you don't want a theme, fine, it might not suit you. Other people might think it's a bit weird you're not having a meal or reception. If it's what we want to do, what does it matter?
As it happens, I'm a full time nursing student, have just taken on a part time job, and I have a portfolio to make and two assignments to do. I still have free time. You obviously work a lot. As for dress fittings, they're a necessary part of the process if you want a dress that fits properly.

[Daisies]

I'm sorry, I wasn't intending to be rude and I'm sorry if you read it that way.

I was at one of the sessions of our marriage preparation course earlier this week and there was one girl getting really stressed about it all and totally obsessing about one tiny detail (the sort of thing that most people at the wedding would never notice!) - I think the evening helped her regain a sense of perspective, we were talking about potential difficulties in marriage and how we'd seen other people's relationships (like our parents) work and how that might help or hinder us in the future.

So, you see, for me, the most important thing is the marriage, rather than the wedding - it's something we both think very strongly, which is why I find a lot of the stuff I read quite bemusing, because I really cannot understand how people find the time! ;-) Yes, I want us to have a nice day, and we have all the elements to make it nice - our wedding service, 50 friends around to support us, a reception with them, then a meal with our families, but it is only one day at the end of it all.

I mean, it's fine to do what you want and have the wedding as you want it, and if that's what's most important to you that's fine. But I have read such heart-rending stories sometimes about people worrying how they're going to pay for it all or what they should do about such and such, and it's like they've got sucked into something and been overwhelmed by it, when it doesn't need to be like that.

[arcticpenguin]

I'm sorry, I wasn't intending to be rude and I'm sorry if you read it that way.

I was at one of the sessions of our marriage preparation course earlier this week and there was one girl getting really stressed about it all and totally obsessing about one tiny detail (the sort of thing that most people at the wedding would never notice!) - I think the evening helped her regain a sense of perspective, we were talking about potential difficulties in marriage and how we'd seen other people's relationships (like our parents) work and how that might help or hinder us in the future.

So, you see, for me, the most important thing is the marriage, rather than the wedding - it's something we both think very strongly, which is why I find a lot of the stuff I read quite bemusing, because I really cannot understand how people find the time! ;-) Yes, I want us to have a nice day, and we have all the elements to make it nice - our wedding service, 50 friends around to support us, a reception with them, then a meal with our families, but it is only one day at the end of it all.

I mean, it's fine to do what you want and have the wedding as you want it, and if that's what's most important to you that's fine. But I have read such heart-rending stories sometimes about people worrying how they're going to pay for it all or what they should do about such and such, and it's like they've got sucked into something and been overwhelmed by it, when it doesn't need to be like that.

Of course it's not what's most important to us, we're not that shallow!

[Mrs NicKim]

I get your point Daisies, and I think we all agree that the marriage is the important thing, and deserves far more thought and attention than the wedding day. But, if people want to spend time and effort on planning lots of details for their big day, then that's lovely for them, and no skin off anyone else's nose surely? Also, to be honest you're posting this question on a wedding forum - probably not the best place to ask why people spend so much time on weddings!!

[hippo duckmas!]

to be honest i agree with arctic penquin...you posted asking if a theme was necessary....nothing about a wedding except the marriage is 'necessary' but we all like to do things in different ways. what may be pointless to you might not be to somebody else but i don't think anyone has the right to judge anyone else.

i wouldn't say I've given up anything in order to plan our wedding, and part of the preparation for our marriage has been planning our wdding together- researching togeher, discussing what we do and don't like.

x x x

[mrs pugwash]

we had a pirate wedding because hubby was a deep sea trawlerman and friends call him pugwash / captain pete and we wanted something different that would make the day very personal to us which it was and we loved planning for it.
we took a year to plan our wedding so planned (my day job is a production planner so like lists hehe) what we wanted to do our selves which was quite a lot in the end, and spent evenings and some weekends doing bits and to me this is all part of planning a wedding and got hubby invovled so made the whole experience even better.
our theme was an odd choice but it was very us and our guests loved it.

you dont have to have a theme if you dont want to but dont criticise those who do want one, a wedding is very personal to every couple and they want different things to make the wedding day even more special then it already is.